What Were They Thinking?: Glonous Cultual Chcosticks

I don’t know what company makes these wooden chopsticks, but you can find them all over the country.  This wrapper came from Las Vegas, and I’ve seen the same one in Seattle.  There’s a stereotype about really bad foreign translations, but this really takes the cake.  Or the mu shu, anyway.

Here is what the text says, in case you can’t make it out from the image:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history.
and cultual.

BAMBOO CHOPSTLCKS
PRODUCT OF CHINA

Tuk under thurnb
and held firmly

Learn how to use your chopsticks
Add second chcostick
hold it as you hold
a pencil

Hold tirst chopstick
in originai position
move the second one
up and down
Now you can pick
up anything :

PRODUCTOF
CHINA