Let It Not Snow, Let It Not Snow, Let It Not Snow

(I actually posted this on January 6, but took the pic on December 22, when I was snowed in and working at home.  First snowman I’ve built in years, even if he was only 10 inches tall.  The squirrels stole his nose by that evening.)

Insured? Can’t prove it by the ID Card!

My ex is still on my auto insurance policy through Geico.  (Long story.)  He’s covered by the same policy, but not as a “spouse”.

I recently got my insurance ID cards for the two vehicles (mine and his).  Three cards per vehicle, all listing only me as “Insured”.

This became a problem a few months ago,when he got stopped for a broken taillight.  He got a ticket because his “proof of insurance” didn’t cover him.  We got Geico to fax paperwork indicating that he was covered under the policy, which should have taken care of things.

With the new ID cards, I called Geico to request cards be issued with him as “Insured” as well.  No can do, they tell me.  Even though he’s insured under the policy, only myself and my “spouse” can be listed on the ID cards as actually insured.  What’s up with that?

So I’m having them fax the paperwork again, and then I will give it and the new cards to my ex.  If he gets stopped, he’ll probably have to argue with the cop over whether or not his insurance is valid, and he might even have to get a ticket that he’ll have to fight (with all the stress and time lost that accompanies that).

I’m pleased that Geico will cover other than immediate family under the same policy, but this refusal to list as insured someone who is insured is ridiculous.

Movie Review: 300

I finally saw 300, via Netflix.  I am soooo glad I didn’t see this one in the theaters.

One word sums up this movie: “juvenile”.

Disclosure: 300 is based on the comic book of the same name.  When the comic came out, I bought the first issue, read it, thought “What a piece of crap”, and didn’t buy the second issue.  My opinion of the comic has not changed since then, and the movie supports that feeling.

You know what would be cool?  Lots of blood squirting everywhere.  Like in that King Arthur movie, when the guy’s arms and legs come off.

You know what would be cool?  Lots of symbolic, dramatic lighting, like everything is occurring at sunset or under a full moon.

You know what would be cool?  A bottomless pit in the middle of the court of Sparta, with no railings or grating or cover, because, like, Spartans are so bad ass that they never slip, stumble, or fall.

You know what would be cool?  If the dramatic scenes all had shit floating in the air to give it a dreamy quality.  Snow, dust, pollen, whatever.

You know what would be cool?  If all the Spartans went shirtless all the time and were like totally ripped.  Dude, that would be gay, not cool!  Oh, well don’t worry, they won’t ever touch each other, so it won’t really be gay.  Just sorta.

You know what would be cool?  If we added reverb and other modulation to the voices at their most dramatic moments.  That would, like, totally help carry the symbolism through.

You know what would be cool?  If we had a voiceover going through the whole movie, sometimes reiterating the action but usually just giving color commentary and saying poetic shit.  And it would be way cool to — surprise! — make the voiceover be the story of the Spartans being told to others, to inspire them to fight crazy.

You know what would be cool?  If the Spartans were so bad ass that even their allies thought they were crazy and would run away.

You know what would be cool?  If there were all there dramatic, tension-filled conversations between the Spartans, full of pauses and deep brooding stares.  Um, dude, you’ve gone into the gay zone again!  Okay, we’ll have them break off the looks early, so no one could possibly think that there’s something gay going on.

You know what would be cool?  If we did all the action scenes cutting in and out of slow-mo, so you could totally see all the sword cuts and tumbling bodies and splashing blood.

You know what would be cool?  If the entire cast was men, just beating the snot out of each other.  Dude, gay thing again!  You need something with a woman, so we can get the chicks to let us see it.  No problem, man: we’ll add a subplot with the queen, and she can have sex in it, too.  She’ll be totally hot, and it will be rough, beating the snot out of each other sex.  And if we have to trim the film to make it shorter, we can cut the subplot some, removing girl stuff and keeping all the bad ass fight scenes!




You know what would be cool?  If this movie didn’t make me fear that the director’s upcoming Watchmen film will be more of the same.

Caught You!: Kymco Scooters

This is a page from the latest Kymco Scooters promotional booklet, about the Sento scooter.  Each page of the booklet has a large cropped image of the scooter on the outside edge of the page — left, in this case — plus a couple smaller colors shots and specs for the vehicle.

Unfortunately, the Sento only has its name on the front left side of the scooter, while this page ended up as a left page, so the front right side would be shown in the large cropped image.

So to fix that, they took the front left side and flipped the image horizontally.  This seems a perfectly reasonable thing to try, except that it reverses all logos, including the main Kymco logo — see the inset on the right — and it would reverse the Sento test logo as well.  So what did they do?  They apparently digitally removed (Photoshopped out) the Sento logo, and then pasted in a new, non-reversed copy.  Except, as seen on the inset on the left, they didn’t get it at quite the right place — it’s too high, not angled right, and of course, the “S” should be closest to the headlight (hard to help that, though).   All in all, a pretty lousy job, probably a rush.

The right answer, of course, would have been to move the Sento to a right hand page in the booklet, so they could have used a correct, unaltered image.  Second best would have been to use a non-flipped image of the side without the Sento logo — so the Kymco logo wouldn’t be flipped and they wouldn’t have to remove the flipped Sento logo — and then just paste in the isolated Sento logo (at the right place and angle, of course).

Prototype for iPod commercials?

I caught this 1989 video from the Belle Stars over the weekend at a bar in Los Angeles:



Check things out just before the 2:00 mark.  Silhouetted guy dancing wildly in front of neon color backgrounds?  Hmmm, where have we seen that in recent years?

Just a curiosity, of course.

What Were They Thinking?: Meds for Cross-eyed and Possessed Pets

You probably saw these website ads early this year: when the mouse passes over the ad, it turns into a bone or a fly, and the dog or cat’s eyes follow it.  Cute, huh?

At least until you move the cursor to extreme points — such as between the pet’s eyes — and the eye-tracking algorithm break, turning the pet into some hideous beast, either a cross-eyed cat that probably can’t aim to find its litter box, or a possessed pug (ugly enough to start with).

(Maybe the dog is having visions of the future and is about to paint?  Or spray?  Or spray paint?   Where’s Mr. Muggles when we need him?)

Seriously, test your Flash ads before you deploy them.

Be careful out there…

Be careful out there, folks.
…In the rain.
…On slick streets.
…On hills and curves.
…Passing cars.
…With other cars changing lanes.
…At dusk.
…And all of these together.

Or you might end up on Columbian Way, passing a car to change lanes in front of it, and have another car zip off I-5 onto Columbian and cut right in front of you to change across two lanes.

Down goes the scooter, skidding on its side up the hill.  (Here’s a map.  It happened right about at the “S” in “Seattle Fwy”.  Thursday, October 9, at about 6:15 pm.)

Down goes the rider, body surfing on the wet asphalt.  Face down, feet first, uphill.  Looking at the wheels of the car he just passed coming closer as the driver slams on his brakes.  While the other driver just zips on up the hill and around the curve, maybe not even realizing anything happened.

Thank god for leather jackets and helmets, and for drivers who are on their toes and able to stop.

Clothing Damage

• Wet pants and shirt (but nothing torn).
• Half-dollar sized abrasion on the jacket’s left elbow, and other scrapes on that sleeve, but the wet pavement actually protected the jacket from other damage, I think.
• Leather shoes have a lightly scuffed up right toe.  I probably lifted my feet up during the slide.
• iPhone in the front jacket pocket is fine.

Scooter Damage

• Half-dollar sized scrape on the scooter trunk.
• Small scrapes on other side bits.
• Busted housing for right front blinker, but it still works.
• Scraped aluminum from the right brake lever and the metal end of the throttle handle.
• Throttle handle’s metal end is now tipped out and spins.
• Badly scraped and cracked footboard side panels (already scraped from dropping the scooter in the past).
• Mirror out of whack, but I think I’ve adjusted it back to fine now.
• Throttle was stuck at first, but got it unstuck after 30 seconds or so.  The throttle doesn’t always roll back to off now, though; the tipped end provides too much friction against the rubber handle, although I can spin the tipped end to a position where it's about 90% fine.  (I’ll definitely need to get this fixed.)
• The exhaust pipe or muffler appears to have taken a little damage, too, bending one of the bolts inward a little.  I don’t notice any issues with it — and I’ve done two 60-mile rides since this weekend — but I should get it looked at.
• Except for the throttle issue, seems to be cosmetic damage and drivable.

Personal Damage

• Bruised right knee.
• Scraped left elbow, even a trickle of blood.
• Tingly left pinkie and forearm.  Still bothering me a little bit, few days later.
• Would have gone to the chiropractor the next day, as a preventative, but they are closed on Fridays.  I seem to be doing fine in that regard, though, so the regular Wednesday appointment will do.

Lucky.

Nobody tell my mother, okay?